A case study in being creepy
Apathy is easy. Especially on the Internet. There’s so much “shit going down” that looking the other way and not getting involved is often necessary to avoid being overwhelmed. Not this time.
Last week, my partner was annoyed with how her hair was behaving and felt it was overdue for a trim. She posted a headshot of herself for a before and after sequence. Soon afterwards, some random jerk posted:
“Wow. I had no idea how breathakingly beautiful you are. Just…wow….”
A compliment, but a creepy one. Not surprisingly this made her uncomfortable. In my opinion a big part of it was the comment was made in a tone that was inappropriate for their level of familiarity (pretty much zero). It was something I, as her partner for 22 years, might say. I’ve earned the right & trust to say it. This person clearly had not. It was an electronic invasion of personal space. Further, this person felt they had the right to publicly voice how physically attractive (or not) they felt she was. I want to educate my fellow men. No, we don’t have that right. It is highly inappropriate and creepy to overstep like this.
This person then went on to further reinforce my opinion that they have broken attitudes towards women with this comment:
“Theres a stunning redhead next to me as I wait for the car to be serviced. Boyfriend or not, I can’t help myself from staring at her…”
Whether a woman has a boyfriend or not does not change inappropriateness. It is pretty crap that this guy feels otherwise.
The attitude that this guy can just help himself and stare if he finds some woman attractive and her comfort be damned is not OK. That he felt comfortable publicly gloating about it is even worse.
Men, we need to hold ourselves and especially each other to a higher standard. And just because it happens all the time doesn’t make it OK.